Moroni, the Book of Mormon Captain, rallied his people behind the title of liberty. Those who did not take up the cause were executed. The consequences for not taking up Moroni's earlier banners was less dire.
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How Unicorns Went Extinct |
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Beware of bears and their trickery. If the unicorns had heeded this warning they just might be alive today. As it happened, their horns were stolen, a couple of extra bears got on Noah's Ark, and they were left to swim.
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I'm sure you all remember the story, but just in case let's recap. Lot and his lovely spouse are commanded to leave the wicked city of Sodom without looking back. Lot's wife disobeys and glances back and turns into a pillar of salt. That sucks for Lot, sucks for his wife, and it sucks for a pair of vultures waiting for her to drop.
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Greenie: The nickname missionaries strive to outlive. Some overcome it by mastering the language, others by just acting like leaders. Some seem to carry it with them the whole mission.
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It's the message that every slice of bread dreads, the message that their son, brother or husband is gone... to church and more importantly to sacrament.
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With such memorable quotes as "My husband paid 3 cows for me," and "Mahana, you ugly," Johnny Lingo will be an eternal Mormon classic. This 1969 story left off with Johnny paying SEVEN cows for ugly old Mahana. Once she was treated as all women should be, she came out her shell and turned out to be smokin' hot. They lived happily ever after... or did they?
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Missionaries Vision is Based on Movement |
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Shhhhh... Do not breath or move. The vision of a Mormon missionary is sharp, but based on movement. If you hold VERY still, they can't see you and may just go away. Download
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Clever Dog, Unsuspecting Missionaries |
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In the eyes of a canine, the leg of a Mormon is as valuable as the pants of a mailman or the tire of a car. Most greenies are easy prey, but the weathered senior companion often times needs to be baited in. A clever, English speaking dog is the missionaries most feared predator. Download
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Touching the Ark of the Covenant |
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We all know what happens to someone that touches the Ark of the Covenant, they die. The real question is, does the guy who touches the guy who touches the ark die? A small group of intrepid, ancient scientist sought to answer this age old question. As it turns out the answer is yes, he dies. Knowing now that the seed of one man can become as the sands of the sea, it's probably better that they took themselves out of the gene pool early.
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